Sandy was a sophomore in college when she had the opportunity to mentor a 13-year-old girl named Kathy, who was in foster care. Kathy was so broken from the circumstances that led her to foster care, she was voluntarily mute. During their visits Kathy would never look Sandy in the eye nor say a word. On one visit Kathy noticed a doll that Sandy’s grandmother had given her. Sandy offered to let Kathy hold it, then she offered to let her keep it. Kathy hugged the doll, then looked up and spoke… “Thank you Sandy.” It was what happened a few days later when Kathy’s mother decided they shouldn’t visit any longer and that sparked Sandy’s determination that no child should suffer like that and that she would one day adopt a child out of foster care.
Another turning point happened years later when Sandy and her husband Mike officially decided to adopt a child. As part of the adoption process, they went through training, and at one session the social worker told them a shocking story of a 2-year-old who ended up in foster care. The root of that story fueled such rage in Sandy that it would convince her to devote her life to changing foster care.
There are 440,000 children in foster care and 111,000 waiting to be adopted. Once they age out, the probability of ending up in prison, pregnant and/or homeless is staggering.
Sandy turned something that infuriated her into something positive with the start of her nonprofit organization. The name she chose? The 440k Project, because she wanted every single child in foster care represented in the name of an organization that truly cares about their welfare.
Mike and Sandy would end up adopting two wonderful boys, JR at age 5 and Elijah at age 2. It’s not easy to raise a child who’s been traumatized from foster care. Despite years of love, guidance, and devotion from his forever family, JR’s experiences in his first 5 years of life would prove damaging and difficult to overcome, attributing to a lifetime of struggles. JR passed at age 24. Sandy’s resolve would be shaken regarding her mission, but while drowning in the grief of losing her son, she asking Mike how on earth she could possibly ask the nation to adopt these kids. Mike would answer simply, “Every child deserves a chance.”
When do you know you’re on the right path and should continue no matter the challenges? When the day you receive the letter that your nonprofit status has been approved is the 20th anniversary of the day JR came to live with his forever family with Mike and Sandy.
I had the pleasure of photographing Mike and Sandy and their boys. I’ll never forget when Sandy called to ask about a family portrait after adopting Elijah. She said, “Now that my family is complete, I’d like a family portrait.” I was elated, because you see Mike and Sandy are not just clients, Mike is my cousin. These two are the most caring, gentle, genuine, and kind people, both college professors. I witnessed their excitement and joy along their journey to their beautiful family. Not only did I get to photograph their family portrait, but also the boys’ high school senior portraits, and Mike and Sandy’s business portraits. It has been such an honor that they continued to choose me for each of these photographic memories, some that now hold such special importance and deeper meaning. It is the “why” behind why I’ve chosen to be a professional photographer.
The 440k Project’s mission is to ensure that the child’s best interest drives all decision-making in the foster care experience; to ensure that foster care children are treated with equal concern for their wellbeing that typical children receive from their natural parents in terms of educational, social, psychological, medical and other basic needs, thereby creating productive, happy, independent adults; and to significantly reduce the number of children who are without a family.
As a professor at Babson college, Sandy recently gave a 12 minute Babson Tedx talk that is a MUST SEE entitled “You Have the Power to Change Your Corner of the World.” https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=-9pGl1Lrd90
If you have been touched by this story or by foster care in general, please check out the happenings and wonderful work of the 440K Project at www.440kproject.org.
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